The Quest for the "Special" Plant
by Aerith Hojo
Summary: Cloud needs to get something from the Northern Crater for Yuffie. As usual, he takes along Sephiroth and Squall, but there's a problem with Sephiroth. It's just..silly. Please R&R.


The Quest for the "Special" Plant  
  
I owe the idea for this fic to my friend Brenda. She's great, and a really funny person.   
I tried to make this one without the Cloud ragging but it just didn't have that same funniness as my other three. So I added some of the "Cloud being goofy" Jokes near the end somewhere. Yes, it is a short fic but I hope you like it. Please R&R. Thanks! ^.~  
  
  
  
  
Once again, the setting is at Cloud's villa, in the peaceful town of Costa Del Sol. Some arguing could be heard from the far left window, where Cloud's living room just happened to be. It seemed that he and Yuffie were having a disagreement.   
"Please Cloud?! Please Cloud?!"  
"I said NO Yuffie! Enough is enough. There's no way I'm traveling all the way back to the Northern Crater!"  
"But CLOOOOWWWWWWDDD!! You know I need that special kind of pot. You know, the kind that only grows in the Northern Crater! The other stuff just isn't....special enough!"  
"Jeez, now I know why you're always so abnormally perky all the time. What else could explain it? Maybe laying off the pot would be a good idea for once."  
"No, no, no Cloud. I can't do it. I start shaking and suddenly want to molest people when I'm off the pot."  
Yuffie suddenly got and evil smirk on her face and looked at Cloud with funny eyes.   
"On second thought, Maybe I ..."  
Cloud interrupted quickly... "NO! ....I'll get it! I'll get it!...Eep."  
"Oh thank you Cloud! ....You WON'T regret it."  
Cloud mumbled and obscenity under his breath and slowly walked over to the door that lead to Sephiroth's room. He raised his fist, hesitated for a moment, but was reassured by his own thoughts and knocked on the door.   
"Seph?"  
There was a pause...and a groggy Seph could be heard getting out of bed. The door slowly opened, followed by a moan from Sephiroth.  
"Errr...What is it now?"  
"I need to go to the Northern Crater today. I was hoping you and Squall could accompany me."  
"I could understand why you'd want to bring Squall ....but why do I have to go? You know that brings back bad memories for me!"  
"I.... I'd just feel better if two people came with me. The monsters are... really bad up there."  
"GAWD! You really are a girl! Alright... fine. Obviously you need a MAN to protect you. So I'll come."  
Cloud growled softly, but Sephiroth was right. He couldn't handle those monsters by himself. He kept his mouth shut for fear of Sephiroth declining to come.   
Once Cloud had persuaded Squall to accompany them, The trio headed for the Highwind. It took some time to get Cid to allow them to borrow it, and after a few moments of listening to Cid swear as he watched them climb aboard the ship, they took off, heading for the crater. When they arrived, Cloud was the first to climb down, since Sephiroth was a bit afraid to return there, and Squall didn't really know his way around the ship. They headed down into the depths of the crater, following Yuffie's hand-drawn map, which consisted of a bunch of squiggles, and a glued on pot leaf to show where the plant was supposed to be. Of course it's obvious that it wasn't of much help to the three. About half way down, Sephiroth stopped. Cloud turned to his friend to see what the matter was.   
"What's wrong Seph?"  
"I...I...," Sephiroth held his head in pain. "...I'll be right back. Go on without me. I'll catch up later."  
Cloud shrugged as he watched his friend walk off into the distance. Squall nodded his head in the opposite direction, motioning for Cloud to continue in the way they were going. They soon reached an unfamiliar spot and Cloud realized that they had gotten lost. Cloud was looking at his surroundings when he suddenly tripped over a stone, landing face first into some Behemoth droppings. Squall tightly covered his mouth, trying to hold in a laugh, but to no avail. He burst out laughing anyway. Cloud pushed himself up, and pulled a big pile of poo off of his face and shirt.   
"Oh God. I need a shower."  
"HAHAHA! What a LOSER!!!"  
Cloud eyed Squall evilly. That was the absolute last thing he needed right now. Now he smelled like rotten apples mixed with dog puke. Which, I assure you, did NOT smell good!   
"Let's just get back on the trail...OKAY?"  
"Heh, heh, heh...Suuuurrre."  
Cloud flicked a piece of it at Squall, hitting him directly in between the eyes. Squall practically almost threw up.  
"EWWWW!!!!"  
"That's what you get for laughing at me."  
With a quick chuck, Squall threw it to the ground as fast as he could and stomped off toward the trail. Cloud followed, rather proud of himself.   
The time had come when they finally reached the pot. It was a funny smelling plant...or maybe that was just Cloud. But anyway, it was slightly reddish in color. Cloud bent over to grab a bundle and he shoved it into his pouch.   
"I hope I get a good amount of gil for this. Hey... I'm starting to worry about Seph. Do you think he's okay?"  
Squall shrugged and looked around.  
"Who knows"  
A few stones fell from high up and the two turned their attention to a ledge to the right of them. There stood Sephiroth, wearing nothing but a pink tutu, and holding his Masamune in his hands, staring down at the duo. Cloud gasped as Sephiroth leaped down at him, jumping on top of his back.   
"S...Sephiroth! What are you doing?! ...... Get the hell offa' me!!!!"  
Squall's eyes widened, watching the terrible sight.  
"My GOD! Even animals don't do that!"  
Cloud screamed like a ballerina and thrust Sephiroth into the wall of the crater.   
"What the hell is the matter with you!!!!???"  
After a few moments, Sephiroth came to and shook his head. He looked down and quickly covered himself with his hands.   
"JESUS! What am I doing in this??!"  
Cloud placed his hands on his hips, stepping a bit closer to Sephiroth... careful not to get too close.   
"Sephiroth...you've got some explaining to do."  
Sephiroth sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose.   
"Oh my God...What smells like rotten fish?"  
Cloud rolled his eyes. Sephiroth spoke again.  
"I don't remember... I sat down for a moment. And I remember Jenova's voice in my head. Then I blacked out, and now here I am."  
"Jenova's still alive??!!"  
"I... I guess so. That's definitely not a good sign."  
Squall interrupted their conversation with a simple question.  
"Who's Jenova?"  
Sephiroth lowered his head.  
"The question is more like, 'WHAT is Jenova?' ...It's a long story. Let's go home, and then we can discuss this matter."  
The other two agreed and so they all went home. Cloud gave Yuffie her pot, and she was running around the house like a maniac. But Cloud was glad that at least she didn't have any sexual interests in him anymore. Sephiroth explained to Squall about the Jenova business, and then they decided to go to bed. All of the lights had gone out, when a scream was heard from Cloud's room. Sephiroth ran to check on his friend as fast as he could.  
"What's wrong? I heard a scream."  
"I ran out of hair gel!!!!" Cloud cried.  
"Ugh....Good NIGHT Cloud!"  
The door slammed, as Sephiroth headed back for his room, and all was quiet yet again.   
  
The End  
  
  



End file.
